I wrote this either last semester (spring of my junior year) or fall of my sophomore year. Thankfully, even though I was feeling lost, without God at this moment, He was still right there the whole time, guiding me, protecting me, and growing me.
O LORD,
The weight of this life,
like a great anvil,
presses on my shoulders,
my heart,
my soul.
My fears take form around me
like a host of fiends.
They multiply in an instant;
they spring upon me unawares;
they cling to me and refuse to loosen their grip.
I sink under their weight,
and discontent, anger, and unforgiveness pile on.
LORD, how quickly I have fallen, and how far!
They block You from my sight
and I cannot stand or draw breath.
I lie down on a bed of rocks and despair.
But You, O LORD, are faithful.
You, O LORD, are steadfast.
You have showered me with blessings though I cannot see;
You have made me the envy of both friend and foe, though I forget.
Strike down the host around me.
Raise me up to stand and praise You.
Give me faith that You will remain.
Show me the peace of a mountain stream,
the strength of a towering tree,
the freedom of a flowering meadow.
Deliver me, LORD,
out of this darkness and into light,
because you are good, and you are great.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
When God is Silent
Many people believe that God does not exist because He does not perform many supernatural works of power and good to demonstrate His existence. Others question His goodness or love because He fails to work to set things right in a world that is so infested with wrong. Still others doubt His presence now. He performed mighty works of salvation in the past--in the times of Moses, King David, and Jesus--but now He is aloof, tired of dealing with pathetic, rebellious people and saying so loud and clear by His silence.
This is an understandable attitude to have. I've cried out to God many times, wondering why He won't come to my aid, or more often, the aid of someone else whom I love. Why are you making us wait, God? You tell us to pray anything in Your name and it will be given! And still He does not act. If only the Bible was more clear on this issue of prayer; or had a chapter of prophecy explaining a new age when God wouldn't be quite as "vocal", or something that would be of help...
Actually, though the Bible does not have such a chapter, it has something even better--examples of times when God's people were sure He had abandoned them, or did not exist. These were times when things seemed darkest, but then God's power shone forth like lightning. The story of Moses is an example. For 400 years, the Hebrews were enslaved in Egypt, staggering under the heavy yoke of Pharaoh and sure that they were on their own. But what does God say in Exodus 3:7-8? "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them..." Well why didn't He come down sooner?! He doesn't say, but He is God--I'm sure He had His reasons. Perhaps He was waiting until Moses came along, or perhaps His reasons are so intricate or lofty that they are beyond our understanding.
Again, in Judges 6, years after the LORD had taken the Hebrews into the promised land, they found Him to be absent. Notice why though--"I said to you, 'I am the LORD your God; do not worship the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you live.' But you have not listened to me." Next time you think to yourself, "Well gee, if God would only show me a miracle, then I would believe and obey!" think again. That wasn't the case for Israel, time and again. Gideon wonders the same thing so many wonder, in Judges 6:13: "But sir, if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the LORD bring us out of Egypt?' But now the LORD has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian." Gideon wonders this aloud to God's angel in chapter 6, and chapters 7 recounts Gideon's defeat of the Midianites.
At the dawn of the A.D. era, Israel found itself again in a situation in which God seemed to be on extended leave. They were disgraced as God's chosen people, allowed to practice Temple sacrifice and worship, but only by permission of their Roman oppressors. I wonder how often many Jews at this time cried out to God, "Why won't you answer us???" For years they had said this, and God seemed to be unhearing, unfeeling, or powerless to intervene. In reality, He was preparing something beyond anything the Jews could have hoped for. Not from earthly rulers and their cruelty would He deliver His people, but from the spiritual oppressors of sin, death, and hell, by the life, death, and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ. This was not the deliverance the Jews expected (and that Jews still expect), but it was God's answer nonetheless, and the Jews and Gentiles alike have been blessed for centuries by God's resounding answer: "I hear your cry! I care! I love you! Come to me and be healed!"
So, why hasn't God answered you yet? Maybe, like the stories of Moses, Gideon, and Jesus Himself, God is simply working things out according to His heavenly wisdom, rather than our earthly wisdom. Perhaps you can't see quite as clearly as you think, and God has a better plan, or His own reasons, or His own timing. The Prophet Habakkuk understood this. He began his oracle crying out against God for the injustice He was allowing, but then interrupts his complaining with this from God: "[My] revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." (Hab. 2:2, 3) "It won't delay" doesn't mean you will not have to wait--it means that God's plan will proceed exactly according to His timing, neither coming too soon nor waiting longer than He intends.
Be of good courage, friend--the Lord God, mighty to save, Whose works are proclaimed in that good book, the Bible, hears you and has compassion for you. He also has a plan for you, and just like with the Israelites, He knows the best plan possible for you, and if you seek Him and His will, then that plan will come and will not delay!
This is an understandable attitude to have. I've cried out to God many times, wondering why He won't come to my aid, or more often, the aid of someone else whom I love. Why are you making us wait, God? You tell us to pray anything in Your name and it will be given! And still He does not act. If only the Bible was more clear on this issue of prayer; or had a chapter of prophecy explaining a new age when God wouldn't be quite as "vocal", or something that would be of help...
Actually, though the Bible does not have such a chapter, it has something even better--examples of times when God's people were sure He had abandoned them, or did not exist. These were times when things seemed darkest, but then God's power shone forth like lightning. The story of Moses is an example. For 400 years, the Hebrews were enslaved in Egypt, staggering under the heavy yoke of Pharaoh and sure that they were on their own. But what does God say in Exodus 3:7-8? "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them..." Well why didn't He come down sooner?! He doesn't say, but He is God--I'm sure He had His reasons. Perhaps He was waiting until Moses came along, or perhaps His reasons are so intricate or lofty that they are beyond our understanding.
Again, in Judges 6, years after the LORD had taken the Hebrews into the promised land, they found Him to be absent. Notice why though--"I said to you, 'I am the LORD your God; do not worship the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you live.' But you have not listened to me." Next time you think to yourself, "Well gee, if God would only show me a miracle, then I would believe and obey!" think again. That wasn't the case for Israel, time and again. Gideon wonders the same thing so many wonder, in Judges 6:13: "But sir, if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the LORD bring us out of Egypt?' But now the LORD has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian." Gideon wonders this aloud to God's angel in chapter 6, and chapters 7 recounts Gideon's defeat of the Midianites.
At the dawn of the A.D. era, Israel found itself again in a situation in which God seemed to be on extended leave. They were disgraced as God's chosen people, allowed to practice Temple sacrifice and worship, but only by permission of their Roman oppressors. I wonder how often many Jews at this time cried out to God, "Why won't you answer us???" For years they had said this, and God seemed to be unhearing, unfeeling, or powerless to intervene. In reality, He was preparing something beyond anything the Jews could have hoped for. Not from earthly rulers and their cruelty would He deliver His people, but from the spiritual oppressors of sin, death, and hell, by the life, death, and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ. This was not the deliverance the Jews expected (and that Jews still expect), but it was God's answer nonetheless, and the Jews and Gentiles alike have been blessed for centuries by God's resounding answer: "I hear your cry! I care! I love you! Come to me and be healed!"
So, why hasn't God answered you yet? Maybe, like the stories of Moses, Gideon, and Jesus Himself, God is simply working things out according to His heavenly wisdom, rather than our earthly wisdom. Perhaps you can't see quite as clearly as you think, and God has a better plan, or His own reasons, or His own timing. The Prophet Habakkuk understood this. He began his oracle crying out against God for the injustice He was allowing, but then interrupts his complaining with this from God: "[My] revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." (Hab. 2:2, 3) "It won't delay" doesn't mean you will not have to wait--it means that God's plan will proceed exactly according to His timing, neither coming too soon nor waiting longer than He intends.
Be of good courage, friend--the Lord God, mighty to save, Whose works are proclaimed in that good book, the Bible, hears you and has compassion for you. He also has a plan for you, and just like with the Israelites, He knows the best plan possible for you, and if you seek Him and His will, then that plan will come and will not delay!
Woohoo!
I have a follower on my blog! Go Elizabeth! I have self worth now! Except now I feel obligated to follow your blog too. This is a conundrum, isn't it?
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